Example 1: Giving Feedback about Miscommunications on a Writing Assignment

Contributed by Linda Gaither, Educator Preparation and Leadership

This was feedback given to an adult learner in his first semester at college, working full time, and raising a family in an all online program. This was his first time writing a paper in many years. So having already built a relationship with him I shared this more detailed feedback. His second paper was tremendously improved and he continued to become a better writing and making the dean’s list.

Please note, I am not saying you have to make all the changes I pointed out. Also sometimes I wrote a note and it appears in the side along with actual edits. You communicate your thoughts well but in my opinion you are too casual for a college formal paper. Since it is your experience, you should be allowed to use personal pronouns. I am not so sure about the causal slang phrases. In a formal paper I would not want them—I could not see the example the professor provided-he/she may accept them—that is your decision.

I learned during my upper-level work that I needed to make connections between paragraphs. Address the thesis in the first paragraph and in the conclusions summarize the content.

Since I did this in word you are free to accept or reject any and all of my suggestions. Go to Review on the title bar and you should see Accept and Reject at the top. I think the compare button allows you to see the original and the edited version at the same time.

I hope this is helpful and rest assured—I will not be offended if you reject the suggestions. I would keep the grammar and spelling edits.

Dr. G